MaKeD oVeR
by JaMeSiSmYSwEeTiE
Summary: Lily Evans is unnaturally perfect and hates it. But when James Potter comes into her life, can he bring out the real her? Or will he just destroy who she is now?
1. mAkE uP

MaKe-D oVeR!  
  
Chapter One - Make-Up  
  
I opened my compact and picked up the pad from within it. I dabbed the pad into the creamy shaded powder and began to smooth it across my face. I applied the powder until my face seemed unnaturally creamy and perfect. I placed the pad down into the compact and while holding it with my left hand, I picked up my black eyeliner stick. I carefully drew a thick black line next to my eyelashes on the bottom of my eyes and on my eyelids. Then, I picked up my mascara wand and covered my already long eyelashes with the thick black paste. While it was drying, I paint my lips with a soft pink lip-polish. I fiddled with my blood-red locks until small ringlets sat around my heart-shaped face. Then I put the compact down and I pulled the rest of my hair back into a ponytail. I picked up the compact again and I carefully scrutinized my face in it's mirror. When satisfied, I tried to smile to myself in the mirror of my compact. Instead, I frowned and slammed the compact shut with a loud snap. All I could see was the person no one else seemed to see. The real Lily Evans.  
  
I knew that all the students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry thought I was perfect; The fifth-year girl who hardly went to watch a Quidditch match because of being afraid her face might get burnt from over exposure to the sun, never receiving a mark less than perfect in any subject, never cursing or even thinking a bad thought, always desirable to look at, but was impossible to touch (By that, meaning the most I'd been with a boy was when one accidentally barged me in a corridor between classes). But I knew that wasn't me. The make-up that I apply every morning gives me the "Little Miss Perfect" mask.  
  
I placed my compact and all my make-up into a small cosmetics bag. I put it into my bedside drawer and slid off my bed. I pushed back my hangers to reveal a single sized four-poster bed, covered in a simple blue cover. I pulled out my school bag from under my bed and began to pile inside all the books, parchment, quills and ink I needed for the day.  
  
"Hey Lily, care to join me for breakfast?" I heard my best friend chirp to me. I turn around to face see Torah Miller leave the bathroom that was joined to our dormitory room. Her hair hung, still sopping wet and she was attempting to dry it quickly with her towel. Her Hogwarts robes were wet from her hair and I saw a food stain on her front. I noticed her bag was packed too. We seemed to be the last from our dorm out. I quickly brushed imaginary dust off my school uniform and followed her out the door.  
  
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"So," I smiled at Torah, "Who do you like at the moment. I know it can't be that Hufflepuff anymore. What's his name again?" I nudged her with my elbow.  
  
"His name was Amos Diggory, don't remind me again!" Torah laughed, her face turning a slight shade of pink. Torah has a reputation of being a major tease. She's technically a virgin (If you get what I mean). But unfortunately for Torah, Amos couldn't stand her not going all the way and told her to either do the deed or he'll break it off. But she wouldn't and that was it between them.  
  
"I'll tell you my next pray over breakfast," She grinned at me and I punched her playfully.  
  
We walked into the Great Hall and most of the school seemed to be there. I followed Torah to the Ravenclaw table. She always looked so gorgeous, even without trying. That's how she found it so easy to lead boys on. I watched her as we sat down and began to put food on our plates. Her luscious brown hair had dried during a walk from the Ravenclaw Tower to the Great Hall and it was shining perfectly. Her skin was a beautiful tanned brown, from spending lots of time in the sun. As well as spending a lot of time training in the sun for Quidditch, you would mainly find Torah asleep whilst tanning next to the lake. I, on the other hand, would be not far nearby reading a book under the shade of a tree. The sun creates uneven tans on my skin. I preferred to keep it a perfect, even, creamy tone. I was sipping on my pumpkin juice when Torah spat out particles of her toast and elbowed me in the ribs.  
  
"Ouch Torah! That hurt!" I started to rub my ribs and looked at her to see what caused the sudden pain-infliction. I noticed her sparkling hazel eyes ogling at a few certain boys who had just entered the hall.  
  
"That's him!" I heard her whisper almost in awe. I noticed that Torah and I weren't the only girls looking at the group. Almost every girl who was eating breakfast was eyeing them too. Obviously, they were very popular. I had never even noticed them before.  
  
"Who?" I picked up my piece of toast and inspected it. I looked up to see the boys were making their way over to the Gryffindor table.  
  
"Sirius Black! That's the boy I like!" Torah turned and smiled dreamily, "Isn't he a babe?"  
  
I tried to contain a laugh. I pushed back one of the red ringlets that dropped over my right eye and looked over at the Gryffindor table for a better inspection of the boys.  
  
"Which one is he?" I was lucky that the boys had sat in a line, facing the Ravenclaw table. I had a clear view of the four boys: One was very short, with brown, mousey coloured hair. He seemed a bit on the plump side. Next to him was a tall, extremely messy black haired boy with glasses. Another black haired boy sat next to him, he had a nice tan and seemed to be entertaining the others with a story. It involved a lot of arm waving. On the end, was a sick-looking boy with a dusty blonde shade of hair. I could see from my seat across the hall that he desperately needed a good night's sleep.  
  
"The best looking one, of COURSE!" She said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Then in a tiny whisper, almost that she was scared someone nearby would hear, "The one waving his arms. I love guys that aren't shy. He really is getting into that story telling! Did I mention he's a fifth year too?"  
  
I groaned. Last week, she loved boys who liked to read and hang out in the library. And he's a fifth year? I seriously hoped we wouldn't see much of him. This year we have our OWL's and I think that Sirius Black might distract Torah for at least two weeks. A girl suddenly popped up beside us.  
  
"Fifth year's timetables. Apparently there was a muddle up with the Hufflepuff timetables so new ones were needed," She handed us two pieces of parchment and walked away. I put my piece of toast down and read the timetable for today.  
  
9 O'clock - Transfiguration (w/Gryffindor) 11 O'clock - Charms Lunch 1 O'clock - Potions 3 o'clock - Herbology (w/Gryffindor)  
  
What luck!  
  
"Um, Torah?" I managed to get out. This was not my day.  
  
"Yeah?" She drifted out of a day-dream to look at me. I looked around and noticed that the hall was slowly losing people eating. I guessed classes would start soon and I realized we left our bags in our dorm.  
  
"I'll tell you in a second. Come on now, we need to get our bags before classes start. I'm sure you'll want to get there early," I stood up and half-dragged Torah to stand by pulling her by the arm. She relunctedly stood.  
  
"If we must, as long as we walk past the Gryffindor table. I want Sirius to notice me first," Torah suddenly brighten up. She smiled at me sweetly and we left the table. I let Torah lead the way. She was strutting very nicely towards the doors to leave the Great Hall. It didn't even look like she was meaning to purposely walk past the boys.  
  
As we got closer, I noticed Sirius was still half-way through his "Arm- Waving" story. But when Torah walked past, he stopped immediately and watched her. She turned on her charm and smiled sweetly at him. His mouth dropped. He was very good looking. I couldn't help but notice his friend next to him. Of course, I don't usually approve in "checking out" boys or even having crushes whilst studying. But there was something about this boy though. His hair was extremely messy, looked like he had never bothered to comb it. And his eyes were a warm chocolate brown. He was looking at me and smiled. I felt myself begin to melt and I looked away. Boys were off limits. I started to push Torah along and we hurried out of the hall. 


	2. jAmEs pOtTeR & tHe MaRauDeRS

Chapter Two - James Potter & the Marauders  
  
By the time Torah and I went back to the Ravenclaw Tower, picked up our bags and made our way to class, we only just made it. I couldn't stop thinking about those boys. I threatened to hex myself a few times and I'm sure Torah didn't hear me do so; she was too busy in her own dream-land.  
  
Our class was just piling into the room and Torah almost died. She noticed straight away that we were having the class with Gryffindor. The boys from breakfast were sitting at the back and Torah immediately dragged me to the tables beside them. They didn't notice us straight away. That gave Torah time to lecture me.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me we had Transfiguration with them?" She hissed in my ear as we pulled out our copies of "An Intermediate's Guide to Transfiguration" by Emertic Switch and scrolls of parchment.  
  
"I forgot completely. You could have looked at your timetable anyways so don't blame me" I hissed back at her. I pulled out my quill and ink. It was then that the boys noticed us.  
  
"Hello Ladies," Sirius smiled at us, "So nice to see you again" I saw in the corner of my eye that Torah had the hugest grin on her face.  
  
"My name's Torah" She spoke to Sirius, turning her back towards me. I was totally cut from the conversation. I tutted at her and turned around to the front of the classroom. I tried very hard to stop a gasp.  
  
"H-h-hi!" I stuttered, feeling totally embarrassed. The messy haired boy was standing right in front of me.  
  
"Hi, I'm James. James Potter. You are?" He grinned at me and showed off his perfect white teeth. I straighten my back and looked up properly at him.  
  
"Lily Evans. It's a bit weird we haven't met besides being in the same school for five years together," I observed. I picked up my eagle-feather quill and started to suck on it nervously. He was even better looking up close. His eyes reminded me of the delicious Honeydukes's chocolate and his hair, even thought it was messy, it seemed to be perfectly positioned in everyway. His skin was tan and even thought he was wearing the very unrevealing Hogwarts robes, I could almost see his perfectly toned muscles.  
  
"Don't suck on that!" James laughed, pulling the quill out of my mouth. He jogged over to his bag. James then pulled a quill out and jogged back over, "This is a sugar quill from Honeydukes. When you suck on it in class, it looks like you're trying to think of what to write next"  
  
I took the quill and grinned up at him.  
  
"Thanks James," I didn't know what to say. James gave me a present, sort of. I was getting very nervous; I didn't want the conversation to run dry. I didn't talk to boys as much as Torah did. James started to open his mouth to say something when Professor McGonagall came into the classroom. Instead of talking, James smiled at me and left for his seat. I sighed. I wanted to talk more.  
  
"Quiet down everybody! Sit down in your seats! Black, that means you too" She barked at the class. Sirius sat down. I looked at Torah and she was writing a note to me. She slid it over onto my side of the desk.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- - Black just asked me to eat lunch at the Gryffindor table! Do you think he is hot? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -  
  
I opened my eyes in surprise. They sure didn't waste time! I quickly scrawled back with the quill James gave me.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yeah, he's great. James gave me this sugar quill. I'll sit with Emily. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --  
  
I pushed the note back over to Torah and she gasped when she read it. It took a few moments for her to write back.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --- Oh my god! James likes you! I think you two would make the cutest couple! Just like me and Sirius. You positively will NOT be sitting with Emily! You are going to be eating lunch at the Gryffindor table, getting to know James better. Besides, ever since we had that fight in our dorm, Emily's ignored us anyways! Lily, you haven't had a boyfriend ever. Why let go of this chance? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --  
  
I tried not to laugh. I didn't know sitting with someone else for a change was such a crime, besides I think the fight we had three years ago about a missing shoe would be forgotten by now. I scribbled a message and handed the note back to Torah.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --- He gave me a spare quill, not his undying love for me. I think I've been fine all these years without a boy, thank you very much! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---  
  
I was waiting for Torah to reply when a folded piece of parchment floated above Torah's head and onto my table. I picked it up and it was blank. Suddenly words began to be written on it.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --- Lily, Since your friend seems to be joining my friends and I for lunch (For Sirius I might add), I was wondering if you would be there as well. We could get to know each other better. We do have five years of Hogwarts to catch up on. Is that a yes? Love James ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---  
  
I couldn't hold back the blush that crept onto my cheeks. I was reading the note again when it was snatched from my hands by Torah. Her eyes widen in excitement and I saw her turn towards James.  
  
"She said yes!" She hissed to him. I leant forward to catch a glimpse of James and I could see him smiling.  
  
"Now Torah Miller. Since you seem to be able to talk to others during my class, I assume you know everything on this topic. What is the correct wand movement for the disappearance spell?" Professor McGonagall snapped and the whole class's attention was on Torah.  
  
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I tried to forget James Potter. I left the Transfiguration room with my head held high, skin looking perfect like always. But when I had got to Charms and Professor Flitwick was dictating, I couldn't help but have James rush back into my thoughts when I took out his quill. Torah thought I was head over heels for him and teased me all lesson. To top it off, Professor Flitwick told us to do Cheering Charms on each other and the teasing grew worse.  
  
We left the Charms lesson and I forced Torah to a detour to the girl's bathroom. She wanted to get the Great Hall as soon as possible. Apparently Sirius said "I can't wait to see you again" after Transfiguration to her and it was killing her that she hadn't seen him since.  
  
I pushed her inside the bathroom.  
  
"Can't this wait?" She began to complain as I pulled out my make-up from my bag. I started put it on, as if I were re-applying my "Little Miss Perfect" mask. Torah was jumping from one foot to the other.  
  
"Why do you wear that all for?" Torah asked. She was watching me with her full concentration. I didn't know if I should tell her the answer or not. I had finished re-applying the powder when I thought I might just bend the truth a little.  
  
"It makes me feel more confident," I sighed. I wasn't sure if that was bending the truth or a lie.  
  
"Confident? Ever since you started wearing all that, you seemed LESS confident. You seemed very out-going and confident to me when James gave you..." She was about to tease me again!  
  
"This has NOTHING to do with that!" I snapped as I put the lid back on my eyeliner. Torah recoiled and stood there quietly as I finished the job.  
  
I felt slightly mean to snap at her like that. But on the other hand, it was highly embarrassing the fact about my make-up. How I use it to turn myself into another person. How an actor changes themselves into another character. Torah didn't say anything and when we started to walk towards the Great Hall, the silence passed and she started talking about Sirius again. Unfortunately, we ran into someone Torah loves to hate. Of course, I hate him just as much.  
  
Lucius Malfoy, followed by his associates, Severus Snape and Macnair.  
  
"What are you two doing, wandering around the halls like this? I hope you weren't trying to casually run into me," Lucius drawled, putting his sleazy arm around Torah and me.  
  
Torah pulled his arm from off her shoulder by two fingers, like it was a dead rat and stepped away from him.  
  
"No, we happen to be heading for lunch," Torah's nose was screwed up in disgust. She looked like she had smelt something horrible near Lucius.  
  
"Same, care to join my friends and me?" Lucius's arm moved from around my shoulder to around my waist, and was steadily moving further down.  
  
"Sorry, we already have lunch plans," I tried to push away. I did NOT want Lucius's filthy hands anywhere near my buttocks region. Lucius just held on tighter.  
  
"With who, may I ask?" Lucius's hand reached it's destination and I resisted the urge to scream.  
  
"My friends and I. Get your dirty hands off her Lucius!" I heard the voice that had been running through my head all morning. Lucius's hand left my butt and I ran towards Torah. She was half clinging onto Sirius. James was now standing very close to Lucius, staring into his eyes. I noticed his hand was in his pocket, probably holding onto his wand. I saw Snape and Macnair pull their wands out. Lucius smiled very smugly.  
  
"Trying to be hero again Potter?" Lucius spat, "It's an old act. Last month's Witches Weekly said that 86% of witches preferred a smooth, rich man with the best broom rather than an "All in the name of Love", hero-type loser. Why don't you go pester some other girls? Actually, I don't blame you Sirius, I'd try and have a go at that slut as well" Lucius smirked.  
  
Sirius jumped towards Lucius but Snape and Macnair pointed their wands at him. James held him back, his wand out as well now.  
  
"Don't even bother Padfoot," James glared at Lucius, "Come on, let's go"  
  
Sirius glared when he walked past the trio and put his arm around Torah. She was a little upset, but I knew she was used to it. Everybody knew Lucius was a jerk and they shouldn't get upset over what he says. He likes to cause trouble.  
  
"Thank God you found us! Lucius was trying to make a move on Lily!" Torah gushed to James and Sirius when we were on our way to the Great Hall.  
  
"It's alright, we didn't know if you two were just taking your time or if someone held you two up," James smiled at me. I walked besides him, trying hard not to stare at him. He was so hot! I literally shook my head. I have to keep my character!  
  
I looked behind me to see Sirius and Torah walking a few steps behind James and me. If I hadn't of known, I would have thought they were together by the way they were acting. Sirius had his arm draped right around Torah and she had her head resting on his shoulder. Sirius was playing with Torah's hair.  
  
James saw where my eyes were looking and looked at Sirius and Torah too.  
  
"You would have thought they'd been dating for years," He commented and I nodded in agreement. Maybe Torah really had found her perfect match!  
  
We entered the Great Hall and most of the school was sitting down eating. Just like breakfast, most of the girls present watched Sirius and James go to the Gryffindor table. It felt weird sitting at a strange table. I could see the hall in a different perspective. We sat next to the two other boys that James and Sirius hung around. The short, plump boy introduced himself as Peter Pettigrew and the sick one, Remus Lupin. Remus looked even worse close up. He had dark bags around his eyes and his skin looked like it was turning transparent. If I looked like that one morning, I don't think I would even get out of bed! But besides his looks, Remus was a real gentleman.  
  
James, Sirius, Torah and I finally put some lunch on our plates. Remus closed his copy of "The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection" and smiled at Torah and I.  
  
"Welcome to our table. I was looking at our timetable. Seems like we have a lot of our classes together!" Remus took a sip of his pumpkin juice.  
  
"I know, we usually have most of our classes with Hufflepuff. Now it's mainly Gryffindor," I smiled at Remus. I felt quite at ease sitting at the unfamiliar table. "So what do you two do for your extra subjects?" James asked me just as I took a mouthful of my shepherd's pie. I tried to swallow the food as quick as I could.  
  
"We study Care of Magical Creatures and Divination," I sighed. Being a muggle-born, I wasn't really sure what to choose. I just picked what Torah had chosen, I didn't realize until after that she tried to pick the easiest subjects. James smiled.  
  
"Good choice, they are the same as ours," James nodded to his three other friends. He finished the rest of his shepherd's pie and piled more on his plate. Peter coughed.  
  
"Oh, except Wormy," James started eat his seconds.  
  
"Instead of Divination, I do Muggle-Studies!" Peter squeaked proudly. Sirius snorted into his lunch.  
  
"That's because you were scared of the crystal balls!" Sirius and James laughed very loudly; Sirius even pounded his fists on the table. Remus's face became almost distorted. He seemed unable to choose whether to laugh or tell the boys to stop picking on Peter. Torah giggled as well. I didn't know if I should laugh or not. James must have picked up on my uneasiness and changed the subject.  
  
"So, what do your parents do for a living?" James asked me. I felt positively sick. I hated talking about my parents for two reasons. One, my parent's are muggles and a lot of wizards disliked muggle-borns. Two, they are a part of the reason why I wore my make-up. Torah knew about reason number one. I saw her look at my reaction. I guess the boys needed to know. If they didn't like me, then they weren't worth having as friends.  
  
"My parents are muggles" I shifted uncomfortably.  
  
"Yeah? What do they do? My mum works in the Mistreatment of Muggles department for the Ministry for Magic. I know a lot about Muggles," James smiled.  
  
"Well," I was lucky my parents had jobs that even wizards would know that they are, "My dad is a photographer for the newspaper and my mum is a housewife. What does your dad do?"  
  
"My dad is a Quidditch commentator. He was asked to play seeker for the Wisbourne Wasp but he didn't accept. He doesn't like that Ludo Bagman that plays in the team," James and Sirius both laughed.  
  
"What's so funny about that?" Torah asked. I nodded in agreement to her question.  
  
"Ludo is a bit of an idiot. Always doing stupid things, like getting himself in trouble. He wasn't too happy when they wanted Henry to play," Sirius explained. I nodded. It was hard being Muggle-born. They all knew a lot about the Wizarding life and I felt like a young child, still learning her ABC's.  
  
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I had a great lunch, sitting at the Gryffindor table. James and I talked the whole time, and the conversation never paused, like I had feared. I learnt lots about James. He just turned 16, he was an only child, his favourite subject was transfiguration and loads more. I got so comfortable around them all I somehow got the courage to ask Remus why he was sick. James laughed and said stress. I wished I didn't have to ask though; it was obvious by the way it looked like he hadn't slept and how he kept reading our textbooks that he must be studying all hours of the day. Remus did act a little different around me after I asked, he was probably just embarrassed. I hoped the OWL's wouldn't stress me like they did for Remus.  
  
At the end of lunch, we had to leave for Defense against the Dark Arts. I promised James I would write him a foot long letter. I wished mine and James's parting was as easy for us as it was for Sirius and Torah. Since they aren't together, it didn't seem right for either to kiss good-bye. They sort of just, looked admirably into each other's eyes, obviously hoping the other would make a move.  
  
"This is really quite pathetic," James whispered into my ears as we watched the couple, "Sirius never waits this long to kiss a girl. I've seen him attack one in the corridor once!"  
  
James and I laughed. The couple had been staring longingly for almost five minutes, until James couldn't handle it any longer and pushed Peter into them. This broke the mood and we said goodbye. Torah and I started to walk down towards the dungeons for Potions while the boys head in the other direction for Defense against the Dark Arts.  
  
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	3. TrOuBLeS WiTh iDeNtiTy

Chapter Three - tRoUBLEs WiTh iDeNtiTy  
  
It has been a week since Torah pointed out the Marauders to me and a lot has changed. Also, a lot hasn't change. I'm still "Little Miss Perfect", I still haven't been in trouble with any teachers and no boy has laid a finger on me. But then in this week, I've met a boy who I just can't stop thinking about, my best friend got the boy of her dreams and we hardly spend time with any other Ravenclaws. The Gryffindor house has adopted us with open arms and their common room is where we spend most of our time. And most of THAT time, I spend with James. Well my best friend has stolen his best friend, so I guess we can only hang around each other. It makes it hard to keep my act up. It's not exactly the easiest thing to do, trying to be something I'm not. And having a boy catching me off guard doesn't help. I'm not sure, but I think James has caught on that I'm not exactly who I am.  
  
"Look at that pair," James laughed, putting his butterbeer up to his lips. I was sitting on a couch with him in the Gryffindor common room. The fire was roaring and on a couch near by, Sirius and Torah was practically joined at the mouth. That has been a common scene ever since Sirius and Torah started dating. James and I somehow put up with it.  
  
"I know, it's disgusting. You think they would think of others," I sipped my butterbeer as well. Somehow, James went away for a while and came back with an armful of butterbeers and chocolate frogs. We have been sitting here, feasting ourselves whilst watching over the couple. James looked thoughtful for a moment, staring into his bottle of butterbeer. I looked into mine. I didn't know what had caught his attention.  
  
"You know Lily; I don't think you need to wear all that makeup. Torah showed me a photo you gave her of you and your sister and you weren't wearing-" James opened his mouth to continue.  
  
"James, I already told you I don't like talking about it," I tried to stop the conversation, "So when are you playing Ravenc-"  
  
"Lily, seriously. You're beautiful already..." James realized what he said. I looked at him and his face was slightly pink. I laughed as if he told a hilarious joke and he tried to giggle. I knew he had no idea why I was laughing, I don't blame him. I didn't know either!  
  
"James. I don't feel like talking about it ok?" I whispered. I thought about why I wore my make up and felt my body start to shake. I felt almost sick. Some weird feeling came over me.  
  
"Are you ok Lily?" James sounded concerned.  
  
His voice was so close but so far away...  
  
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"Hey Lily," I heard a familiar voice whisper.  
  
I rubbed my eyes. My vision was a little blurred. It only took a second for the room to come clear. I was lying down and everything around me was white. I saw James Potter looking down at me; his hands were holding one of mine. I sat up to see across from me were rows of beds. I was in the hospital wing.  
  
"What happened?" I asked James. It seemed to be only James and I in here. I wondered how I got here.  
  
"I was talking to you and you started to shake all over. You fainted so I took you straight here. Sirius helped," James was watching me, almost like he was waiting for me to have another shaking fit. I took my hand from his grips and started to climb out of bed.  
  
"I'm going back to my bed. I feel fine. Do you know where my robes are?" I walked to the bed of my bed. James pointed to the set of drawers on the other side of the bed to him. I walked around and found the robes I had been wearing were folded neatly in the top drawer.  
  
"Are you sure you're ok? The nurse said you should be alright and that you can leave...it was scary Lily," James was whispering. I had put on my robes over my school uniform. I could see out the window and it was very dark. It was probably 8 or 9 o'clock. I realized what James had said.  
  
"I scared you?" I asked James. I looked in a mirror hanging on the wall above the set of drawers to see my make-up was fine. I was lucky I didn't have it worn off. I stared into my eyes, trying to step into my character. I heard James speak again.  
  
"Yes...you were shaking really bad Lily. I thought you were having some sort of seizure. You're eyes were rolling back. I tried to find your pulse but I couldn't find it. I thought you were d-" James choked. I rolled my eyes.  
  
"James, don't be silly. I WAS fine and I am fine. You probably just couldn't find my pulse. Sometimes I can't find my own pulse, but I know I am alive!" I knew I was being a bitch but I knew the longer time I spent with James; the harder it was getting from being my true self. Not even Torah did this to me. I grabbed anything I knew belonged to me and hurried out of the hospital wing.  
  
I tried to jog down the hall but I felt a hand grab my arm and slow me down. James looked distressed and I felt horrible. No matter how much I didn't want to, I had to get away from James.  
  
"Please Lily! Don't run! I was so worried about you, I didn't know what had happened," James's voice was croaky, he sounded like he was about to break down. I felt tears started to form in the corner of my green eyes. I couldn't be weak. The Perfect Lily Evans never cried!  
  
"James, go away!" I started to jog again; James lost his grip and ran after me. I felt a tear run down my cheek. I needed to get away. If I didn't, I wouldn't be able to go on without telling James the truth about my life.  
  
"Lily! Please! Don't run! I think I love you" James cried. I stopped and twirled around to face James Potter. The boy who gave me a sugar quill. The boy who I could never stop thinking about. The boy I think I love too. He was standing in the middle of the hallway. I saw a lone tear run down his cheek. Half of me wanted to run up to him, cuddle him and kiss him on those desirable lips. But the other half took control. More tears ran down my face as I stood there looking at him.  
  
"No.....take it back....." I cried and ran away. I couldn't hear James behind me but I kept running. I didn't want James near me. He has been the closest person to me ever and he is breaking through my mask. I kept running around the confusing Hogwarts corridors. I didn't even know where I was. I stopped in the middle of a dark corridor and wipe my eyes. I leant against the wall and slid down onto the floor. Somehow I was lost. I knew I'd find my way out, I just hoped it would be soon.  
  
I was sitting on the floor and looked at my surroundings. It was dark, a torch was lit a little further down the corridor and it was flickering. The walls were stone and very cold. It looked familiar to the dungeon I studied Potions in. Then it hit me, I probably was in a dungeon. I heard someone walking further up the corridor and stood. I hope it was a teacher that could help me find my way back to the Ravenclaw tower. I started to walk towards the sound of footsteps. When I turned a corner, I walked into something solid. I fell to the ground, dropping my belongings.  
  
"Ouch," I looked up to see Lucius Malfoy standing above me. He smiled at me and extended his arm out. I lifted my hand out and he pulled me up, wrapping his other arm around my back so that we were standing there, very close. Smooth, I thought.  
  
"What brings you down here?" Lucius let me go and I smiled. I didn't feel myself and I shocked both him and I when I answered.  
  
"Hoping to bump into you, of course!" I grinned up at him. I couldn't believe I said that. Lucius grinned at me. I felt his hand on my lower back and we started to walk further along the corridor, deeper into the dungeons.  
  
"Yes, what happened to Potter?" Lucius drawled. He stood in front of a bare wall and muttered "Snake venom". A hidden stone door in the wall slid open.  
  
"I don't like him at all. He is a bit of a loser," I laughed as we walked into the room. It was getting easier to say things I didn't mean. I was forgetting the effect James was having on me and Lucius was being very nice. I didn't know he was even like this. Maybe I shouldn't have judged him before.  
  
The room we walked into, I immediately realized was the Slytherin common room. It was long and extremely cold. The green lights hanging from the ceiling gave off an eerie, green light. There were several Slytherins sitting in chairs around the fire. None of them acknowledged me or Lucius.  
  
"I could have told you that about Potter ages ago, if you gave me the chance. What has changed your mind?" Lucius gave me a suspicious look whilst leading me towards a small doorway, leading away from the common room. It was even colder here; the corridor was completely made up of stones. Every few metres there would be a plague with a Year group written on it.  
  
"He told me he loved me. How pathetic!" I laughed. Lucius laughed as well. He stopped in front of a plaque with fifth years written on it. He pushed the plaque and another concealed door slid open. The room was all stone as well. There were four poster beds with green quilts on them. There was a plaque with the occupants name written on them. The middle bed had Lucius Malfoy written across it in curly writing.  
  
"This is my dorm room," Lucius lead me to his bed. We sat on top of it for a few moments. Lucius took out his wand and magically locked the door. It was unbelievably cold in this room. I shivered, sitting down on this bed and wrapped my arms around myself.  
  
"How can you stand the cold in here?" I asked, suppressing a shiver. Lucius slicked back his white blonde hair and licked his lips. For a moment, I wondered what they would taste like.  
  
"Well, I'm used to it. But maybe you would want to share some body heat?" Lucius smiled and before I realized what he meant by that, he was laying on top of me. His lips were pushed against mine and the kiss grew more passionate. I felt Lucius's tongue slide snake like into my mouth. I felt him stroke my hair. Even though my first kiss was with the last person I would expect, Lucius was distracting me marvelously.  
  
We were kissing for a while. I felt Lucius's hand start to pull up my robes. They were around my waist when Lucius decided to use that hand to touch my breasts. It was amazing how pleasurable it felt. My breasts were tingling and I knew that meant they were erect.  
  
"Lily, do you mind if I-" Lucius took a breath from kissing. I cut him short.  
  
"Don't stop," I gasped and closed my eyes. I felt Lucius's breath on my face and we were kissing again. Suddenly I felt his hand going up my school skirt and my underwear was pulled down. I was growing nervous. This is not what the perfect Lily would be doing. I was getting confused with my character.  
  
All because of James, I thought.  
  
I was in the middle of running my hands through Lucius's hair when I felt something penetrate me. My eyes flew open to see Lucius grinning at me, his hand up my skirt. It was the weirdest thing I have ever experienced. It was nerve-racking but I could feel a great amount of pleasure come upon me.  
  
I started to moan. I couldn't believe this was happening. I was letting LUCIUS MALFOY touch me when I've never let a boy even hold my hand before. I felt his fingers leave my body. I laid there, fully clothed except my underwear was around my knees. Lucius was pulling off his clothes.  
  
"This is for you Lily, I'll do whatever you want," Lucius whispered and I smiled lazily at him. I didn't think I even cared what he did. My body was so relaxed, I felt like I could sleep.....  
  
Suddenly I felt something harder and bigger go inside of me. My eyes flew open again and I saw Lucius's face was centimeters away from mine. He was thrusting his hips into mine and it was growing very painful.  
  
"No! Stop it! You're hurting me!" I cried and Lucius laughed at me. His smile wasn't caring or nice anymore, it was evil and spiteful. I started to cry but Lucius just thrusted harder.  
  
"This is what you deserve Mudblood. You thought I was a nice boy for a while didn't you? Well all I wanted was to pop the Virgin's cherry. Potter is perfect for you and you threw him away. I'd hate to do favors for Potter but I am. I'm teaching you a lesson! Get what you were asking for slut!" Lucius pounded his body into mine and I cried. I felt so incredibly dirty. I couldn't believe what I had gotten myself into. Why didn't I just let James see the real me? Why did I have to hide it away?  
  
When Lucius was done, he got off me and spat on my face. I continued to cry, even after he had left the room. I pulled my underwear up and fixed my robes. I wiped the spit off my face and left his dorm. I tried to sneak out of the common room but the Slytherins saw me. They all pointed and laughed at me. Some called "Slut" or "Mudblood" when I crept past. Lucius must have told them. I covered my face and ran out. I leant on the wall when I got out of the common room. I took a few deep breaths and then I ran all the way back to the Ravenclaw tower.  
  
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	4. VeRiTaSeRuM

Chapter 4 - VeRiTaSeRuM  
  
I woke up the next morning feeling sick.  
  
"It's just nerves! Anyone would feel sick after what happened to you last night," I told myself. I hadn't seen Torah last night; I went straight to my bed and cried myself to sleep. I hoped James didn't hate me. I needed someone there for me.  
  
I was ready for breakfast early and I waited for Torah. I found my make-up bag and pulled out my compact. I put the powder on even thicker. It felt like I was trying to hide the real me and the fake me. I didn't want anybody KNOWING me anymore. The options of running away and even transfiguring myself went through my head and I knew I was being silly. I kept applying all my make-up; I had to pretend nothing at all happened yesterday. We walked down to the Great Hall.  
  
"How are you?" She asked, looking at me through the corner of her eye. I had been wringing my wrists the whole walk.  
  
"F-fine! Just peachy you know!" I smiled the biggest fake smile I could muster. I knew Torah sensed something was wrong but she didn't say anything. I was glad. I didn't want to tell Torah how I felt about James and everything that happened with Lucius.  
  
We entered the Great Hall and I saw Lucius sitting with his friends at the Slithering table. His arm was around a skinny girl with black hair. He looked in my direction, as well as his friends. I saw him mouth the word "Mudblood" in my direction. Torah steered me towards the Gryffindor table. My nerves went through the roof when I saw James sitting there with Sirius, Remus and Peter. Torah kissed Sirius hello and sat down. I sat next to Peter who begun a full discussion with me about music.  
  
"...I particularly like rock, you know with guitars and drums? I was thinking of starting a band. Maybe you'd want to be in it Lily?" Peter was babbling on. I didn't really pay much attention.  
  
"Sure," I said. I had been watching James. He was avoiding eye contact with me. What if Lucius had told him?  
  
I didn't even realize that the time had flown. Torah was saying good-bye and I half-heartedly waved to the boys. I knew I could never tell James why I had run off from him last night, after his confessions. But I had to explain some how. I had to tell him about Lucius before he said anything, even though he might have already.  
  
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The morning was going quickly. I had half-written a letter to James. I figured this was the easiest way to explain to him all I could tell about what has been happening. I was so tired; I had to explain to the whole class in Charms how to do a spell. Professor Flitwick was having trouble interpreting to the students. And now in Potions, Professor Thornbury was having people read. I looked at my desk. On top of my Potions text book, was my letter. I lifted up my quill to write more but my eyelids were so heavy.  
  
"I'll just rest my head for a moment," I murmured to myself and put my head on my book.....  
  
"Lily....."  
  
Go away! I thought. My eye-lids are still heavy!  
  
"Lily, why can't you cook just like Petunia? Petunia is so good at cooking. She'll make a beautiful wife. The boy she'll get will be VERY lucky!"  
  
I snorted. It's not my fault I can't cook. Why can't Mum just leave me alone?  
  
"Lily!" I heard someone call my name.  
  
"I don't care if I can't cook!" I grumbled.  
  
"Miss Lily Evans! I don't care if you don't cook either. We happen to be studying the pro's and con's of Veritaserum," I heard the voice again and I doubted it was my mother's.  
  
"What?" I sat up. I realized what had happened. I looked up to see Professor Thornbury's small beady eyes burrowing into mine. I couldn't believe I had fallen asleep! I was supposed to be just resting my eyes! I noticed Torah pointing at my desk, mouthing something. I mouthed "what" back to her. Professor Thornbury saw Torah point at my desk. I looked down at my desk to see a piece of parchment in clear view of others. Clearly written on top in big letters was, Dear James. Uh, oh. My letter to James!  
  
"And what is this?" Professor Thornbury picked up my letter. She tutted very loud and started to read my letter,  
  
"Dear James, I really need to talk to you. I have to explain myself about last night. I didn't mean what I said. I can't explain myself properly but I need you to know I am sorry for how I acted. Also, something happened with Lucius Malfoy. I'm not sure if you know but I want you to hear the story from me-"  
  
Professor Thornbury snorted. Her eyes were scanning the rest of my half- finished letter. I felt my face burn. My whole class looked at me. They still saw me as "Little Miss Perfect, Lily Evans". No teacher has EVER done something like this to me before! I knew Professor Thornbury was mean to every house except Slytherin, but she had never humiliated her students like this before.  
  
"From the shade of scarlet on Miss Evan's face, I doubt I need to read on. It is very amusing your letter but I doubt it will help you learn about Veritaserum. Maybe we could use some on Lily Evans here, it could be very interesting. Everybody think of a question you would like to ask Lily and I'll decide if we will try it out. But in the mean time, continue reading Samuel," Professor Thornbury swirled her robes around and stalked back up to the front of the classroom. I swallowed down what seemed to be a lot more than saliva. Looking around the classroom, I wondered what kind of questions they would ask me. Torah looked worried. I hoped the lesson would end soon.  
  
The class finished reading and discussing aspects of the Veritaserum. I was praying someone would ask a question to waste time. Then I wouldn't have to drink the potion. Torah tried obviously but Professor Thornbury must have really wanted me to drink some of the truth potion.  
  
"That's enough questions. I think it's about time for the moment of truth," An evil grin flicked onto her face, "Lily Evans, please come up to my desk. Everybody can pack away their books. We'll be having some entertainment for the rest of the lesson," Professor Thornbury pulled out a vile of the clear liquid. I swallowed and walked down to the front of the classroom. The class had packed their books away. Most of them had looks of terror on their faces. None seemed to want me to say anything embarrassing. They seemed sorry for me.  
  
I looked at Professor Thornbury. She held out the vile for me to drink. I knew that three drops were sufficient enough to make me tell the truth for a while. The vile looked like it held a little less than a quarter of a cup. I took the vile and I heard the class gasp when I drank the whole vile. It tasted like strong muggle liquor. I could almost feel my secrets waiting to be revealed.  
  
"Now Lily. I have some questions for you," Professor Thornbury smiled greedily. I was very worried. Just as she opened her mouth, the bell for the end of the lesson rang.  
  
"Maybe another time!" I smiled to her and ran down the class to get my bag. I swung my arms into the straps, grabbed Torah's hand and we ran as fast as we could out of the classroom. It was lunch so we walked to the Great Hall.  
  
"Torah, I need you to not let anyone ask me questions. I drank too much of that potion. I could be telling anyone anything! I don't know how long it will last either..." I looked anxiously at Torah and she smiled.  
  
"Don't worry. I'll just stretch the truth!" Torah laughed. We entered the Great Hall and Sirius called us over to the Gryffindor table.  
  
"How are you two?" He asked. Before I could stop it, my mouth flew open and I started to blabber on.  
  
"Absolutely HORRIBLE! I felt sick all day because I was afraid to front Lucius-" I was cut off by Torah's hands covering my mouth. I was still talking, I couldn't help it. The Marauders all looked at me strangely, even James. That had been the first time he had looked at me all day. I finally stopped talking and Torah removed her hands. She gave me a weird look at what I said.  
  
"Lily isn't feeling very well. So just don't ask her questions. She doesn't feel like talking much," Torah lied, quickly stuffing her face with food. I knew the boys didn't buy this. It was quite clear that I didn't mind talking.  
  
"How was Potions? That is what you two had right?" Remus asked. He didn't ask specifically and my mouth started to talk again.  
  
"That was probably one of the worse things today! Professor Thornbury caught me asleep, read the letter I was writing James and she gave me a whole vial of Veritaserum-" I was cut off again by Torah's hands. But this time it was too late.  
  
"She what? Why did you drink it Lily?" Peter exclaimed. All four boys ogled at me. From their faces, they couldn't believe what they had just heard. Torah couldn't help but take her hands away. She was letting me tell the truth. I told her not to let me!  
  
"She gave me a vial of Veritaserum, the truth potion. I don't know how long I'll be talking truths for. She gave me about a quarter of a cup! And three drops is supposed to be enough for me to tell everybody my deepest secrets. I didn't want to drink it, but I was forced. It was my punishment for writing a letter to James and for falling asleep," My mouth stopped. That was as much as I could tell for those questions.  
  
"I have to find away to stop. I don't want Lily to regret anything. Imagine if she tells something bad. Something she'd been feeling. Maybe one of us should take her to the hospital wing. The only thing that can get her over the potion is time," Torah suggested. The boys nodded.  
  
"I'll take her," James spoke. I almost died in my seat. James was going to help me. But what if I said something to him I didn't want to?  
  
James picked up my bag and his and led me out of the hall. We were walking towards the hospital wing when suddenly James pushed me into a classroom. He sat me down on a dusty desk.  
  
"Lily, I need to know the truth. I know this is mean to do this to you, but this is the only way I'm going to find out what I need to hear," James had his hands on my shoulder and stared into my eyes. His chocolate brown eyes were making me melt. I nodded and I wished I could kiss him. But I knew James wanted me to talk.  
  
"Why were you afraid to front Lucius today?" James looked into my eyes, as if trying to find the answer there before I opened my mouth.  
  
"After I ran away from you last night, I didn't know where I was going and I got lost in the Dungeons. I ran into Lucius and he sweet talked me. I started to think he wasn't what I thought he was and I let him take me to his dorm. Besides, I wanted to get away from you. He kissed me. I had wanted to kiss you for so long, that I thought kissing him would make me feel just as good. I let him touch me. He told me he'd do whatever I wanted. He started to rape me. When I told him to stop, Lucius called me a Mudblood. He said he was giving me what I deserve, and he was doing you a favor. Lucius said that I was stupid to throw you away like I did because we were perfect for one another. When he was done, he left me there. I felt so dirty James. I didn't want him at all," I sat on the table, still staring into James's eyes. They were watering but they didn't overflow. He looked away, his shoulder slumping. I know this was too much for him. But he still wanted more.  
  
"Why did you run away from me last night?" James asked. My mouth flew open once again and I spilled out the truth, unwillingly.  
  
"I was scared. I was scared that I might not be able to fake who I am anymore. You were breaking me down James. All these years at Hogwarts, no- one has known the real Lily Evans. I've tried to be someone who I thought everybody would love. I tried to be my sister. I had to get away because I knew if I stayed near you any longer, I couldn't keep up my act anymore. I couldn't be someone who I'm not," I sat quietly as James soaked in what I had said. His glasses slipped down his nose when he looked down for a moment.  
  
"Do you love me?" James whispered and looked up at me. The tears in his eyes were on the peak of overflowing. He pushed his glasses up his nose.  
  
"Yes. More than anyone I have ever loved before. I wanted to tell you last night but I was scared. I was scared I'd let you see the real me," I spoke slowly. I had told James almost everything I was scared to tell him. Tears finally fell from James's eyes and dribbled down his cheeks.  
  
I looked into James's eyes and asked him a question.  
  
"Do you still love me?"  
  
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	5. ThE rEaL LiLy evAnS

Chapter 5 - ThE rEaL LiLy EvAnS  
  
"Yes, I still love you Lily" James answered in the words I had wished him too. He leant in closer to me and I felt his soft lips brush against mine. We broke apart and I hugged James. I couldn't really believe I was doing all this. A few weeks ago I would have died if I knew this was happening.  
  
"I'm sorry for everything James, I really am," I whispered. James laughed. "I don't find that funny," I scowled.  
  
"Of course you don't. It's just I know you're telling the truth, literally!" James smiled. I blushed. I had forgotten about the veritaserum. I think that might be a bad thing.  
  
"Do you want to take me to the hospital wing now?" I tried to get up. James pondered.  
  
"Well there is more I want to ask you....." He looked away. He knew that it would kill me to tell him more. I have already told him a lot. Just more details he wanted I guess.  
  
"I promise you that after the veritaserum is gone, I'll tell you everything," I put my hands on James's face and moved his face to look at mine. James's black wire-framed glasses were slipping down his nose. His brown eyes devoured my green ones. His lips sat there, soft. I wanted to kiss him again but James moved away and pulled me off the desk.  
  
"Ok," He answered and led me out of the classroom. We walked in silence down the hall and I walked first into the wing.  
  
"Can I ask you something?" I whispered to James before I got the nurse. James nodded, "That you'll always be there for me. No matter what,"  
  
"I promise," James whispered back. He let go of my hand and walked backwards towards the door of the hospital wing. His eyes didn't leave mine until he shut the door and walked away.  
  
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It has been two weeks since I first came to the hospital wing for the veritaserum to wear off. Right now I was waiting for the nurse to come back so I could leave. I got all my homework given to me by either Torah or James and they didn't ask me anything. James did kiss me again. It was a little more passionate than our first. It might have been better if Madam Potts hadn't of come back and we had to stop before we got caught.  
  
I heard the door open to the wing. I saw Madam Potts come in. She was very grumpy for a nurse. Always muttering to herself. She was old, about 50 or so. Gray hair, gray eyes. I felt sorry for her, imagine the only company she has had for the past two weeks is a girl you can't talk to properly.  
  
"Right Miss Evans. Time to test you to see if you won't stop talking truths," Madam Potts growled. I sat up on my bed.  
  
"How many houses are there in Hogwarts' School?" She asked, holding her quill to a piece of parchment. All the questions she had to ask me.  
  
"Four," I answered. Uh oh, that's the RIGHT answer! "Five! Five!" I quickly tried to lie. Madam Potts gave me a weird look.  
  
"Question two. What is your name?" She looked up.  
  
"James Potter," I smiled. Successful.  
  
It didn't take long to lie to all the questions. All went well except that first mess up. I had finally gotten rid of the veritaserum.  
  
I skipped down the halls, holding my clothes, books and any other possessions that I had acquired during my stay in the hospital. I noticed it must be a Hogsmede weekend by the lack of noise around. I finally made it to the Ravenclaw tower.  
  
"Grape Juice," I chirped to the Suit of Armour. It didn't move.  
  
"That was the password two weeks ago," The Armour replied.  
  
"Thanks for nothing," I sighed and sat on the floor. I could be waiting here all day!  
  
"What you doing sitting on the floor Evans?" I heard a voice ask me from behind. I turned my head to see Sirius Black standing behind me. He smiled at me. I jumped up and hugged him.  
  
"It's great to see you again!" I laughed. Then I jumped away like he stung me. What was I doing? Hugging Sirius Black? Sirius looked at me strangely.  
  
"I didn't know you missed me that much!" He laughed. I forced a laugh. I felt so stupid. Sirius still thought I was the fake Lily. I promised James I'd tell him the truth when I was better and I'm going to keep it. I have to make myself my own person.  
  
"Hogsmede," Sirius said to the Suit of Armour and it slowly moved asie to reveal the enterance to the Ravenclaw tower. I looked at Sirius.  
  
"How do you know our password?" I asked as we entered the common room. Like I expected, only first and second years were here, except two seven years who obviously are tired of Hogsmede weekends.  
  
"Well," He started, grinning from ear to ear "Torah and I were 'talking' in the common room (I laughed at this stage) and Professor McGonagall caught us. So now we 'talk' here", Sirius laughed at the memory.  
  
"Where is everyone?" I asked. I couldn't see or hear any of our friends.  
  
"Waiting for you of course. They sent me to check up here. So you going to put your stuff away so we can go?" Sirius asked, smoothing his black hair. I ran up to my dormitory room and dumped my belongings on my bed. I quickly checked myself in the mirror to see if I look alright. I had a thick layer of make-up still on.  
  
"I'm sure he won't mind if I take a second longer," I whispered to my reflection and ran to the bathroom.  
  
I turned on a tap and filled my cupped hands up with water. I closed my eyes and lent forward into the sink, splashing my face with water. I rubbed my face with my hands, trying to remove all the make-up. With my eyes still closed, I groped around trying to find a face-towel. I found it and brought it up to my face, drying it. I opened my eyes and looked at my reflection. It was foundation free but I had mascara and eyeliner running everywhere around my eyes. I rubbed it away and looked again.  
  
"Goodbye Petunia. Hello Lily!"  
  
I quickly brushed my hair and looked at my reflection for the last time. I didn't feel any anger come upon me. What I saw back in the mirror was me. Lily Evans. The Lily Evans with blood-red hair and green eyes. No make-up. Just pure me.  
  
I left my dorm and walked down the stairs. Sirius had his arms folded across his chest, staring at two first years playing a game of exploding snap.  
  
"Come on now Sirius! Where is everyone else?" I asked. Sirius turned and when he saw me, his mouth dropped.  
  
"Lily? Is that you?" He asked jokingly. I walked over to him and punched him on the arm. Sirius tried to punch back but I was already walking towards the door.  
  
"Yes this is me. Where is James and Torah?" I asked as we walked out of the common room. Sirius was still ogling at me.  
  
"Torah finally got you to take off that make-up? You look really-" I cut Sirius off.  
  
"No, it was James. James got me to stop," I corrected him. Sirius coughed.  
  
"James? I don't understand how he'd do that. Oh here we are," Sirius stopped in front of a statue of a humpbacked, one-eyed witch. I stopped in my tracks. I didn't even noticed how far we had walked. Sirius took out his wand and tapped the witch's back.  
  
"Dissendium" Sirius said proudly and statue's back opened into a small passage way. Sirius bowed towards me, "After you Madam"  
  
I crawled into the hole of the statue and slid down until I felt the floor. I stood up to hear Sirius saying quietly, 'Weee'. I laughed when I heard a thump beside me. It was pitch black down here.  
  
"Lumos," Sirius said and held his wand up. I could see we were in a secret passage. I took my own wand out and whispered 'lumos' as well. Sirius and I started to walk along. I had no idea where we were going.  
  
"What are we doing?" I asked after about an hour of walking. The ground started to be rising.  
  
"Meeting James, Torah, Remus and Peter of course," Sirius replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
"And where is that exactly?" I asked. I could see stairs ahead. Sirius turned and smiled wickedly at me.  
  
"The Three Broomsticks," Sirius laughed. I sighed.  
  
"Why couldn't we go the normal way?" We started to climb the stairs. I looked up but all I could see were stairs leading away somewhere above me.  
  
"Filch. He closed the gates. Can only get through if you're coming from Hogsmede not Hogwarts. Besides, I'm running low on chocolate frogs," Sirius kept climbing. Now I was very confused.  
  
"What has chocolate frogs got to do with this passage-" Sirius covered my mouth with his hand. I looked at him and he whispered 'Shh' to me. He pointed above his head and I saw a trapdoor. I listened as well. I could hear someone shuffling above me.  
  
"We've run out of cockroach clusters dear!" The footsteps moved away. Sirius opened the trap door an inch and we saw feet moving up another set of stairs. Sirius jumped out, pulled me up and closed the trapdoor. I noticed we seemed to be in a cellar. All around me were crates and boxes full of-  
  
"Sweets!" Sirius smiled. He piled chocolate frogs, peppermint creams, toffees, jelly slugs and more into the pockets of his robes and uniform, "Come on Lily! Take some!" He smiled at me deviously as he threw a chocolate frog at me.  
  
"Isn't this stealing?" I questioned but Sirius ignored me and continued to throw sweets and chocolates in my direction, "Fine!" I sighed and filled my pockets up too. I found a block of my favorite chocolate. Honeydukes' best.  
  
"Are we in Honeydukes?" I asked. Sirius laughed.  
  
"Yep! Now we need to go to The Three Broomsticks!" Sirius took my hand and we sneak up the stairs that led to the shop. We could hear a cash register closing.  
  
"Dear, could you see what that boy is doing near the Unusual Tastes section?" We heard someone say.  
  
Sirius opened the door a fraction. We could see an old man walking down near the front and an old woman bending over near the cash register. We sneaked around the back of the counter and out of the store. My heart was thumping from adrenaline. When Sirius and I left the store, we laughed uncontrollably.  
  
"That was so fun! Let's go find the others! At least we can eat something with them now!" Sirius walked down the street of Hogsmede. I grinned. I was having so much fun. More fun than I ever had when my face was smothered with make-up and I loved to do homework. I couldn't believe being me was this exciting.  
  
We were still laughing when we pushed open the doors to The Three Broomsticks.  
  
"There you are!" We heard someone say. Near the window at a table sat James, Torah, Remus and Peter. Sirius and I walked over. James's mouth dropped when I sat down. I blushed and looked at Sirius. He was giggling and started to pull out sweets upon sweets from his pockets. I copied. Our friends' faces were shocked.  
  
"Where did you get all the money for this?" Torah whispered in awe. Sirius's face cracked into a wicked grin.  
  
"We didn't have any" I replied. Torah's mouth dropped further than James's had.  
  
"Are you saying you stole-" She started. James covered her mouth.  
  
"Shhhh" He said. By the expression on the boys' faces, they must already know about the passage way to the Honeydukes cellar. I opened up a peppermint cream and chewed on it slowly. Suddenly Torah noticed.  
  
"Lily! You're not wearing make-up!" She squealed. I blushed. Now everybody was staring.  
  
"You looked great," Remus said. I smiled at him.  
  
"You're skin looks really healthy," Peter commented. I smiled at thank you to him as well, and passed him a chocolate frog.  
  
"She's looks gorgeous," James said. Everybody looked at him. My stomach did a flip, but it could have been the peppermint cream hopping in there. James didn't look to bad himself; his hair was messy as usual, his skin seemed fine and his chocolate brown eyes were full of warmth. I felt like melting into them.  
  
"Well I'm not so shabby either," Sirius laughed, drawing the attention away from James. Madam Rosemerta came over with a tray holding 6 tankards of butterbeer.  
  
"Here are your drinks. Seems like you have a feast here!" She laughed and whisked away back towards the bar. I pulled my tankard to my lips and drank deeply. I could feel the warmth of the butterbeer go into every part of my body. It felt almost tingling. James stood with his butterbeer and walked around to me.  
  
"Can we talk?" He asked. I nodded and took my tankard and a few chocolate frogs and followed him. We sat down at a two person table at the back of the pub and sipped our butterbeer. James looked at me.  
  
"What did you want to talk to me about?" I asked. I had a feeling I knew what was about to come out of his mouth.  
  
"You" 


	6. ReVeALaTiOnS

Chapter Six - ReVeLaTiOnS  
  
I knew this conversation would come sooner or later.  
  
"What do you want to know?" I asked, picking up a chocolate frog. I opened it up to see a card of Dumbledore. James looked at me carefully.  
  
"Remember two weeks ago, when I talked to you in that classroom. You were just under the influence of the Veritaserum. You told me you were trying to be your sister. Why?" James asked the question I hadn't want anyone to know the answer too. But I had made a promise. I swallowed back the fear of what he would say and told him why.  
  
"My sister Petunia was always perfect. Great grades, lots of boys after her, always wearing a truckload of make-up, she was the most popular and loved girl I ever knew. I, on the other hand, wasn't. Petunia told me I was ugly, with my red hair and green eyes. She said that's why I never had friends. So when I got my letter for Hogwarts, it was almost like my dreams coming true. I could go to this school and be someone that everyone would love: Petunia. And that is what I did, I copied everything about her. The way she would walk, how she treated guys, how smart she was and most of all, how she looked," I looked at James. He nodded and stared into his tankard of butterbeer.  
  
"So you ran away from me that night, because I was breaking through your mask. You couldn't stop the real you from coming out from within you," James figured out. I laughed half-heartedly.  
  
"Yeah, that was my worst fear. Somebody knowing that I wasn't who everyone thought I was. That the Lily Evans they knew was really Petunia Evans," I bit into my chocolate frog. There was a silence. James was pondering over what I had said.  
  
"So who did I fall in love with?" James asked. That question took me by surprise. Firstly, I assumed it was me, Lily. But if I was pretending to be Petunia.....?  
  
"You must have liked Petunia in some way, right? But before the whole Lucius Malfoy night, you were getting through to the real me. But I guess we'll know from now," I concluded.  
  
"Why?" James asked curiously. He was watching me intently.  
  
"Well, you'll know the real Lily Evans from now on. And if you don't like her, then I'll owl home to tell Petunia that someone is after her, won't I?" I laughed hollowly. I didn't want James to be in love with Petunia. Love is wasted on her. James became awkward with me.  
  
"What if I have fallen in love with her? How would you feel?" James asked. He looked as if the worst was true, that he really did love the false me, more or less my sister Petunia. I stood up as fast as I could. I had fallen in love with James and I think he has fallen in love with my disguise.  
  
"Then Petunia is lucky. She has won the heart of the only boy I have ever loved," I felt tears come to my eyes and I rushed out of the Three Broomsticks, leaving James more confused than ever.  
  
%o%o%o%o%o%o%o%o%o%o%o%o%o%o%o%oo%o%o%o%o%o  
  
I walked along the streets of Hogsmede, heading back towards Hogwarts. I can't believe my past was repeating itself. Everything that happened prior to Hogwarts was practically happening again. I could almost still hear the school kids' taunts from my past now:  
  
"Lily is a loser! Lily is a loser!"  
  
"How could such a loser like Lily be related to the most popular girl in school, Petunia?"  
  
"Hey loser! Why don't you dye your hair and be cool like your sister?"  
  
I felt fresh tears spring up and I wiped them away. How could I let James know my deepest secrets? Now he was in love with Petunia. Somebody he has never seen, only through me. I've pretended to be someone else for the past five years at Hogwarts and for what? Nothing. I walked through the Hogwarts gates after being scrutinized by Filch, who didn't realize I hadn't walk past before. I wandered lonely towards the castle but changed my mind. I made my way towards the lake but was stopped.  
  
"All right there, Lily?" I heard a familiar booming voice say. I looked up to see Hagrid, the gamekeeper. He was awfully big, probably a half giant. Giants can be greatly bigger than Hagrid.  
  
"I'm fine," I sniffed, rubbing my eyes to rid any tears. Hagrid peered down at me, his beetle eyes noticing my tear stained cheeks.  
  
"No, yer not. Yer gonna come an' have a cup o' tea with me. Yeh can tell me whatta wrong with yeh," Hagrid took my arm and steered me back into his cabin.  
  
We went inside and Hagrid sat me in a chair next to a huge table. Hagrid started to put boiling water into a large teapot and was making two large mugs of tea. I looked around. His bed was in the corner as usual, a chicken was hanging off the ceiling but there was a new item in his cabin. A very large basket was next to Hagrid's bed, filled with blankets. Two large bowls sat next to it.  
  
"What's that Hagrid?" I asked, pointing to the basket.  
  
"Ah," Hagrid looked and his newly growing goatee twitched nervously, "that's fer my new dog. That's its bed" He smiled.  
  
"Are you sure it's a dog? Or did you finally get a dragon?" I laughed. I knew Hagrid had a love for strange and dangerous creatures.  
  
"Naw, it's a dog. A black boarhound. Should be 'ere any day now. Now back ter yeh. What's bin happenin' ter make yeh so upset out there?" Hagrid came over to the table and placed a boiling hot tea in front of me. He sat down with his tea. A plate of treacle tart was on the table. Hagrid peered over his mug. I sighed.  
  
"I've created this problem. Now I think I might lose someone I love," I took a sip of the tea. It burnt my lips, tongue and throat. I forced it down. It felt like my body was on fire! I put the mug down and took a piece of the treacle toffee. Now, as well as having a burnt mouth and throat, my teeth were glued together!  
  
"Ah, youn' love. It wouldn't be ol' James Potter by any chance?" Hagrid smiled. I forced my teeth apart and swallowed the toffee down.  
  
"Yeah it is," I looked down into my tea sadly, warming my hands up by holding the mug.  
  
"I'm sure it'll be nothin' ter worry abou', James likes yeh a lot Lily!" Hagrid drank deeply from his mug.  
  
"No, it's worse than that. I haven't exactly been truthful to everyone. And James admitted to me that he loves me and now we aren't sure if he is," I couldn't help the tears running down my cheeks. Hagrid pulled out a large handkerchief, which could have passed as a small towel and handed it to me.  
  
"Get it all out. There yeh better now?"  
  
"Sort of. Hagrid, I'll try and cut the long story short. I've been trying to be my sister ever since I've come to Hogwarts. Now James doesn't know if he has fallen in love with me or Petunia," I sobbed sadly. I knew Hagrid would understand. He's met my sister before. But it wasn't a pleasant situation. Petunia hated me and any wizarding folk. Hagrid bellowed. The sound hurt my ears.  
  
"HA! Yeh two'll sort it out. Don' even know why James even thought he likes yer sister over yeh. It's obvious who 'e does like ay?" Hagrid smiled. I raised an eyebrow.  
  
"No, it's not Hagrid. It's not that simple-"  
  
"Yeh'll see 'ow simple it is alright. I'll tell James a thin' or two. Don' yeh worry now Lily. Now yeh should go an' enjoy yer weekend," Hagrid stood up and took our mugs to the sink. He walked me to his front door and saw me off.  
  
I walked back up to castle, even more confused but at least I didn't have anymore tears to shed. I walked all the way back to the Ravenclaw tower and sat in my common room alone. A few second-years were playing chess. I felt quite alone. I hadn't seen hardly anybody for two weeks, James thinks he loves Petunia and Torah will be hanging around Sirius since he is her boyfriend. How can I avoid James now? I shook my head. I don't want to avoid James. I love him. Why is love so complicated?  
  
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"Now Lily, you have to come down for breakfast! It's the most important meal of the day! You make yourself sick if you don't eat! You didn't eat dinner either! Please! For me?" Torah pleaded. I turned over in my bed and closed my eyes.  
  
"If you haven't noticed, I'm trying to sleep," I growled. I don't want to get up. All because of James. I feel so sick whenever I thought of him! I felt like he was proposing to Petunia already! What I thought was the worst that could happen, did. I told someone my secret, the person I told thinks they like the person I was pretending to be. Petunia is the greatest all over again. I started to pretend to snore.  
  
"James told us," Torah turned and went to close my bed-hangings. I stopped snoring, "He told us that you weren't who we thought you were."  
  
"So he opened his fat mouth did he? That's nice. Anyway, if you're wondering, he is right. I'm not who you think I am," I sighed, sitting up in my bed. Torah looked around at me.  
  
"You know, I think the old Lily would have sulked like this. So much for changing and showing everyone who you really are," Torah shut the bed- hangings, "See you later then."  
  
I jumped out of my bed and grabbed Torah's arm. She turned and I burst into tears.  
  
"Seriously Lily. You ain't supposed to cry. Lily doesn't take shit of anyone anymore!" Torah smiled at me. I looked up at her and wiped my eyes, half giggling.  
  
"I'm coming to breakfast," I said, pulling my uniform on, on top of my pajamas. Torah gave me a weird look but gave a wider grin.  
  
"That's the spirit,"  
  
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End file.
